M is for ME

M is for ME, all about ME.....

I think this is the mantra for the 21st century.  Its all about me and not about you.  As long as I am happy, as long as I have what I want, as long as I can wear what I like and I really don't give two hoots about anyone else.

Only a few now give up their seat on a bus or train to the elderly, even less for a ladies. 

People barge past to be served first with no thought of anyone else. 

People use foul language around others with no consideration to the feeling of others. 

Women wear revealing clothing and believe it is their right even if it offends men. 

We live in a selfish society that only cares about one thing, the individual.  The other day I was reading in the newspaper about a divorce with the comment "they had grown apart". If we think about our spouse and not about ME, then how can a couple "grow apart". People grow apart because they have allowed it to happen, too busy looking after themselves (ME) and not spending enough time with their spouses.

This may explain why many marriages are falling apart, marriage isn't and can't be about ME, its about US. As a wife, it is my husbands needs I need to think about -- what would he like, rather than what I would like.  It is his happiness that I need to think about, my happiness will come knowing that he is happy.  I read a little article called "Putting self on the shelf" (link) Can you leave yourself on the shelf long enough to truly put your husband or wife first? It doesn't come natural. At times, it doesn't come easy. But it does bring priceless - and precious - results. You will end up drawing your hearts closer together.  Perhaps if more people tried this, what a differences it would make to divorce rates.

Trying to teach our children that "ME" is not always best can be a difficult lesson -- children do focus on themselves but need to be taught to look at the needs of others, whether that be their sibling, school friend or stranger. It would be good to create a new generation of children who are considerate to others, who think of other people before they open their mouths as in Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. What a difference the world would be if we thought about one other person each day, rather than ourselves. 

Being a Christian means putting self last and the Lord first. It isn't what I want, it is what the Lord wants me to do . . . people find this very difficult.  This takes discipline and self control.  Trusting in the Lord and living our lives as per the instructions of the Bible means putting away ME/SELF.

That they who love should no longer live to themselves, but to Him who died for them and has been rasied.

2 Cor 5:15

Congratulations: Cookbook giveaway

Before I could annouce the Cookbook Giveaway I had to wake Ruby up.  She was very comfortable on her bed looking at the birds outside.  This is what she does every day all day. Perhaps I have made her bed far too comfortable.

Once I got her out of bed, she was more interested in looking out the front door.  Doesn't she look good against our purple door!! The pile of names are sitting in front of her.

The action shot . . . after some "washing" and scratching on the mat, she decided to selected a name.  First she tried to eat it (missed that shot) and then she flicked about and it landed in her tail.

And the winner is

. . . BETS . . . 

my dear cousin

not that Ruby knew that you and I were related in any way.

Bets, the cookbooks will be in the post tomorrow for you to enjoy later in the week:)

Thankyou to all of you who participated . . . as I can't send everyone something, here is a bunch of flowers and a big smile.

PS Ruby has climbed back into bed, that was exhausting!

Don't forget: Giveaway

It is Saturday afternoon - the weather is grey, cold and wet and I am all snuggled up in my warm house. I love this sort of weather as there is nothing nicer than being indoors on a wet winters day doing wintry things like reading, listening to music, making jam (yes, I made some more quince jelly), talking to my cat, watching a movie, blogging to my friends (yes, thats you!) or just lying on the couch dozing (I will be doing this in a moment).  It is days like this that I feel all happy and joyful. 

Just a quick reminder of my cookbook give away (LINK), it closes (oops) tonight tomorrow night. 

Did I mention that my dear son shared his cold with me and now I am all snuffly and sneezing all the time.  They are precious things, sons, not colds, who love to share even thing with their mothers!!  He has a little trail next week at a cafe, for part-time work. I pray that he gets the job as it will keep him busy. He is also returning to study which is a positive move as well.  I think he is getting his act together. 

I have been practicing my photography portrait skills but do not have many people who wish to assist me, therefore I sometimes have to ask Ruby. She is very good and this is one I took earlier this week. I really like the results. No comments from Ruby thus far.  

Ok, I think it is time for a cup of Jasmine tea and perhaps try my quince jelly on some toast. If you live near by you could drop in a join me.  

Art Friday: Ingrid Siliakus

Artist: Ingrid Siliakus

Born: Netherlands

Unique Paper Architecture

Ingrid Siliakus first discovered paper architecture by seeing work of the originator of this art form Prof. Masahiro Chatani (architect and professor in Japan). He developed this art form in the early 1980's. Ingrid was instantly fascinated by the ingenious manner in which these pieces were designed and by the beauty they radiated. Ingrid studied the originator's work for some years and than started to design herself. Ingrid states that working with this art form has given her personal means of expressing. Her designing skills have grown over the years. Her specialties are buildings of master architects and intricate abstract sculptures. Her source of inspiration by these abstract sculptures are works of artists like M.C. Escher. With buildings she feels attracted to work of Berlage and Gaudi.

So how do you do it: Paper Architecture is the art of creating an object out of a single piece of paper. Before the final design is finished, something like 20 to 30 (sometimes even more) prototypes are made by Ingrid. Drawing paper architecture designs to Ingrid is as building: first one layer, with a single shape, will be drawn and than layer after layer are added. This process continues till she is satisfied with the result. All separate prototypes are cut and folded, to be examined by her. To design a pattern from scratch, the artist needs the skills of an architect to create a two-dimensional design, which, with the patience and precision of a surgeon, becomes an ingenious three-dimensional wonder of paper. After the design stage, creating a paper architecture art work is done by a combination of detailed cutting and folding. The paperweight Ingrid uses for her creations varies from 160 to 300 gram. (sourced from Ingrid's website)

This is so clever - and one wrong move would ruin everything. 

Personal website (link)

China Mansion

Simple mansion

Perhaps you could try this in your next art class!

Beware the gorgeous guy on TV

Richard Geer from the movie An Officer and a Gentleman

Often when women discuss a movie they have watched they will talk about how gorgeous (or cute) one of the characters was. I've done this, more than once, many times if I am honest.  The character in most occasions is some handsome male actor.  I can remember watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and telling others how handsome Aragon was in the films. I don't think there are many women who have not done this at some point. Most of us are flawed human beings that have minds that wander where they shouldn't. 

We generally associate men with perving at women. However women "perv" too, just in a different manner. When men perv, it is out there in the open, everyone can tell, however when women do this it is perhaps more hidden eg comments made whilst watching a movie or talking to a friend at work about a male colleague.  When women are perving at men it isn't quite in the same sexual vein that men do, but we still look at men and fantasize about that "gorgeous hunk" and we shouldn't be.  It doesn't matter if you are a stay-at-home mum or like me and go off to work (we are all vulnerable), if our minds wander when we are watching or reading something and we start to think about how "gorgeous" someone is (who isn't our husband) then we aren't behaving in a Christian manner.   Our minds are not being kept pure.  Just as we don't like our husbands looking at other women, they don't like us looking at men (even if they are on TV or in a book) and fantasizing about their looks.

If unsure about what you are watching, reading or evening thinking -- remember Philippians 4:8 and tick the boxes -- is it pure, lovely, noble or good, if not, then it probably isn't any good.  A good test is whether we could honestly say we could read from a novel out loud to Jesus and feel comfortable in doing so. Many of us would say no.

The only gorgeous hunk in your life should be your husband, not the actor on TV or the man in a novel (who isn't even real). If you can't watch or read these without your mind wandering, them leave them alone.  And worse still, don't try and compare your husband to these made up characters - my husband likes to remind me he will never be a Mr Darcy!!

Link to Mummy Porn article

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. 

Philippians 4:8

Part 4: Support your husband

I thought I would write a series called "Keeper of the home for busy ladies", in particular for those, like me, who work outside the house either full-time or part-time.  However, we are all busy ladies and we all need as much encouragement as possible to get through the week in one piece.

Part one, two, three

Part 4: Supporting your husband

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Prov 31:11)

Just because you and I are busy ladies doesn't mean we can neglect our husbands.  No matter what you do, you are his helpmate and that is a big responsibility and needs to be taken seriously. The Bible is very clear on this "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18) I am not perfect when it comes to helping my husband, I stumble and grumble at times and wonder why he can't wash his dinner plate or pick up his sock, so the list below is as much a reminder to me as to anyone else who is a bit like me and can be a grumbler too!

There are many ways you can help your husband, some might appear to be small and insignificant -- others completely obvious, but everything is important in its own way. And considering the divorce rates these days, it would appear many wives don't see these things as either important or necessary in a modern marriage. This list isn't about "me", rather a list about helping my husband as the Lord has commanded every wife to do. So, how can we help -- by:

• being kind, gentle, caring, soft in words, loving, understanding, listening to him, considerate, patient, joyful, happy . . . 
• not being a nagging, demanding, controlling, angry, brawling, augmentative wife -- no husband wants to come home to a wife that treats him like this -- he is more likely to want to stay away from home
• not grumbling when he does something that you find annoying e.g. not washing his dinner plate!
• not complaining if he has to work back late, welcome him home with a big hug and smile and dinner ready
• be aware of how he is feeling -- tired, stressed, worn out after a busy day -- so you can react accordingly, he may have had a terrible day at work
• finding the time to sit and talk or sit and listen
• showing an interest in what he does at work, rather than talking non stop about your day
• working together towards common goals, rather than pulling in opposite directions
• reducing augments by not fighting over silly things -- it isn't about who is right or wrong
• finding out how you can help him to reduce his busy load e.g. by doing the finances
• appreciating his actions, efforts and work -- men like to be acknowledged when they do things
• respecting your husband's authority (his God-given position in the marriage)
• allowing him to create a God-centred marriage
• allowing your husband to take the leadership role in the marriage -- rather than being bossy, controlling or demanding -- remember the role of submission
• accommodate his likes into the house -- don't make it all about your tastes 
• keeping the house clean and tidy, make sure your husband can easily find things he uses often -- a busy man doesn't want to spend hours looking for things
• cooking healthy meals from scratch -- find out what he likes (mine likes a roast each week) -- after a busy day at work he will probably want a filling meal, not something thrown together
• spoiling him with special treats -- all men like to feel special
• making sure the bedroom is a special place for the two of you - spend some time making it look pretty
• living within your budget
• making sure you take care of yourself, dress the way he likes you to dress
• creating a home that is comfortable and happy -- inviting and calm -- a place he wants to be
• creating a harmonious home -- after a busy day, the last thing your husband wants to hear is screaming children and a yelling wife
• not talking behind his back about his faults, gossiping to others about your marriage
• lots of hugs and kisses -- he wants to feel wanted and needed -- he wants to feel special.

Pray for your husband, encourage him and respect him, each and every day. 

The rewards will be returned in abundances.

But most importantly

Love your husbands

Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Martin Luther.

A new season

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire:  it is the time for home.  ~Edith Sitwell

This week is the start of winter. However I think winter has been with us for a few weeks now with our frosty mornings and very cold nights. I don't mind winter, I quite like snuggling under the soft blanket in the evening with my mug of hot chocolate and a good book/film. I quite like the hot soups and crusty bread that one tends to have on a very chilly night or rugging up to go for a walk. Winter is often seen as the least favourable season, but each season has its beauty and winter is just as good as any other season but for different reasons. 

Winter tends to make you feel alive, invigorated when that chill hits your face . . . even though the garden can look a little sad, you know that the bulbs will burst into sunshine shortly . . . the sun often shines on a winters afternoon and it so nice to catch its rays. 

We lived in the tropics for 14 years and the one thing I missed the most was the traditional four seasons.  I can remember when we moved south in June of 2000 and my sons saw winter for the first time in their lives. My eldest just loved to look at the frost that turned the garden white and the magical crystals that would formed. My youngest stood in front of an open fire in amazement as he had never seen a fireplace. 

I am looking forward to this winter . . . my jumpers are ready, my tights are all bought, my winter shoes have taken the place of the summer shoes, my winter skirts have all been checked and only yesterday we put the flannel sheets on the bed. I'm ready for winter. 

However for all those on the other side of the world, you are about to enter summer . . . enjoy:)

Best of winter

***

 

Don't forget my cookbook giveaway: link